One of the most challenging aspects of life is figuring how to get what you want. If you are ever feeling frustrated but can't pinpoint exactly why you feel this way, consider if you are getting what you want out of your current situation. A big part of becoming who you are supposed to be is having the confidence to achieve all that you wish to accomplish. Unfortunately this seems easier said than done in many cases. Making excuses..."I was so tired and the professor didn't post a study guide"...or shifting the blame..."he didn't pass it fast enough for me to score" are all ways that we divert the true reason why our goals fell short. The most important thing to keep in mind while trying to get what you want out of life is to maintain a conscious relationship of honesty with yourself.
The idea of being in a relationship with yourself may seem odd and down right depressing for those of us in single-hood, but is the most important relationship you will ever find yourself in when it comes to reaching your goals. This advice may sound extremely parental and irritating on so many levels. No one wants to be told they are doing something wrong, and facing the truth on an individual level is not easy.
Being honest with one's self is the most challenging exercise of all. -Sigmund Freud
Facing the truth can happen in a number of ways, the most common being a harsh reality check from someone close to you. Typically inflicted in the heat of an argument, being forced to accept the reality of life challenges you to actively be aware of who you are becoming, and where your goals are heading. At this point in life having a clear identity of self is more than just joining a club or choosing a major, it is a process that never truly ends.
The tactics that are used to fool yourself typically aren't fooling others. Everyone feels vulnerable with being their true self and exert a large amount of energy trying to maintain a certain status. One of the most prevalent and typical college examples that comes to mind is 'the person who knew everything about the past election'. If there is one thing more uncomfortable being around than vulnerability it is ignorance; especially since watching Good Morning America's recap of the debate hardly counts as a comprehensive overview of the state of American politics. By maintaining an identity that may not be fully real you are undermining your own credibility and the respect of those in your life.
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| politicals.net |
Truth evaders get worn down by the belief that their thoughts define reality. Your perspective becomes limited when you put so much pressure on yourself to achieve your goals. The real strides are made when you are able to critically challenge your own thoughts by (mentally) taking a step back and considering where your worries fit in with the rest of the world. Egos aside, getting what you want will be much easier if you can accept that flaunting your extensive knowledge on the top ranked sports teams may not put you on the fast track to being on top.
The biggest culprit of self trickery is the desire to control. Believing that you have to do everything right in order to reach success leads you to the chronic perfectionist category. This motivation is defined by the individual's definition of perfection which in the mind of a '20 something' probably has a few readjustments to be made. By accepting that you cannot control every aspect of your future, you can feel more comfortable recognizing the truth. Based off of personal experience, I can confidently say that no matter how impossible a situation may seem, it will work itself out despite your unfaltering attempts to fix it yourself. When things start to go wrong it feels a lot like when you carry too many groceries up the stairs; once one bag drops the entire Kroger run goes toppling down the stairs after it.
Accepting reality may come in waves. It may take time to feel comfortable with being honest about certain situations. Regardless, shifting into a more honest mindset will allow you to have a more direct understanding of what you truly wish to accomplish out of life. Knowing how to get what you want is a learned skill that comes with exploring your true passions and interests. Instead of complaining about how things never go your way, resolve yourself to the understanding that you can and will get what you want.
-RV
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| thinkit.org |
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