Liking it One too Many Times Dating in the Digital Age

We have had a lot of attendees at our Gottcha Covered sessions lately which is awesome on so many levels because it means students are being more proactive about their sexual health, and that students are also doing a lot of interacting with their peers and dating. If you don't know what Gottcha Covered is all about stop by and talk to us about it. You can never have too much information when it concerns your relationship and sexual health. This means that advice on relationships in these digital times and this environment has never been more appropriate.

pinimg.com

We live in a time when your interest in someone can be dulled down to one single word a "like." Whether you think they have a photogenic breakfast, or some awesome overly edited vacation pictures, all you have to do is hit it. Hitting that one button suggests possible friendly acquaintance status.  The thing is you can hit it as much as you want. Morning, noon, and night from multiple sources especially if you are working with what I like to call the double tri-fecta (laptop, tablet, and smart phone with unlimited wi-fi on top of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram). When working with the double trifecta you have the power to simultaneously like, #hashtag, and filter your life away. For the majority of us it is an inclination that is as natural as breathing. The modern day single 20 something is guilty of hitting it one too many times. 

Even in the past four years dating has evolved. We have online identities and social media obsessions that make it possible to not even be recognized in public due to misleading pictures and status updates. How on earth are you supposed to meet someone in person when you have spent your nights expressing yourself in 140 characters or less? There are new rules...if they don't have a profile picture that identifies who they are, they are clearly a criminal. If they are a serial politics perpetrator aka projecting their opinion of legislative leaders onto all of their friends, keep scrolling down. Because who doesn't want to spend their browse time enriching their intelligence with your boisterous and most likely  misinformed political opinions? And let's not forget the silent judgement that is passed on seflies captioned "no filter." Many times, all of these aspects are taken into account before even deciding to hit the like button, and you haven't even come close to meeting he or she in person yet! With this added dimension of human interaction here are a few tips for being a successful digital dater.

Are you a Facebook friend or a Twitter follower: I am convinced that Twitter gives people the false impression that because you accumulate x number of followers you are the equivalent of Justin Timberlake or something. Never before has it been possible to meet a potential significant other who was once a "follower" of yours.  If you are pursuing getting to know a person online forget the vanity of how they caught your eye, or how many likes they spared, and learn more to see if you are truly interested.

Leave a little out of the info box: It says here that you eat a peanut butter sandwich every day at 12pm, you have been riding horses since you were 5, and you have switched jobs 5 times in the past year. There is a reason why you can meet someone and feel such a strong desire to spend more time with them, because you don't know anything about them. Overly revealing social media sites make that awesome mysterious quality about meeting someone new a non factor and probably one of those people you un-friend on their birthday.

Use those profiles for good: This should be more obvious but clearly our age media users struggle with the concept of 'you are what you post.' There are hilarious pictures from that one weekend when...but if those are all that show up on your profile you can't get defensive when people begin to form their opinions.  Keep your profiles clean and the best representation of you.

http://lorenzlammens.tumblr.com

Like what you actually like: Yesterday I saw all of these people's profiles scrolling through the news feed, and it kept saying that everyone is suddenly liking Usher. Yes 2004 was one of the best years of your pre-teen life with the release of Confessions, but I highly doubt that everyone is genuinely interested in Usher as a tangible point of conversation. When was the last time you sat with your friends and talked about your common Usher interest? There are a ton of awesome things to actually like through social media sites, be selective and real about hittin' it.

Be social:  It is called social networking for a reason. If your sites are empty because you only created a page to stalk your fellow peers down to their hourly location, the social side of the networking may be losing it's value. All of these sites give us a way to connect and learn that can be extremely informative. Create a page that reflects who you are, things you want to do, achievements that have been made, and you can be sure your social media experience will be worth the hours of procrastination you use it for already.

Happy networking! If you are interested in becoming a Gottcha Covered Volunteer stop by 675 Steger to learn more.

-RV