Drifting

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Everyone growing up as hopes and dreams. When you are 5 becoming President seems like a likely possibility.  As you grow older dreams become jumbled in the motions of life and those once ambitious ideals morph into a set of goals.  Instead of simply dreaming of success you have to formulate an action plan in hopes of attaining those dreams.  Once the reality sets in that your dreams may not magically come true, the idea of becoming President is downgraded to hope of graduating from law school or getting a degree in political science by the age of 21.  We may find ourselves living a life that is on the polar end of what we hoped it would be when we were 5.  At this point in life we have tried to establish identities on an individual level.  Through all of this pressure you may catch a breath and wonder "How did this happen?" It is not that you are dissatisfied with how your life is playing out, but maybe you only went to live in your city of residence because it was the only school that had your program.  Or you only started dating your partner because you happen to work at the same restaurant.  In essence life begins to feel like it is happening to you rather than being in charge.  Researchers refer to this nagging feeling as the drift.  Commonly experienced between the ages of 18-24 "a drift occurs when you allow circumstances or others to make decisions for you" says Meg Jay PhD professor of psychology at the University of Virginia.  It is a life decision that can lead to an unfulfilled lack of happiness.  The drift is realizing that living a "good enough" life may not be enough and more importantly makes you feel like you are living a life that isn't your own.

Are You Drifting?

The hardest part is understanding whether the life you are living is a result of the drift.  It is important to gain control while you are in the position to do so in order to avoid living a life that you hate.  General discontent leads to regret which can be the most unsettling feeling of all.  Susan Krauss Whitbourne PhD professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts explains that "when you've not tuned into yourself you miss the opportunities that will help build a rewarding life."  This whole concept boils down to having a degree of self awareness.  Personal awareness allows you to be an active player in your own life.  Consider the last big decisions you made.  Were you in control? Did you let someone else take the lead? Did you settle for the easiest option? If answers trend to positively answer question like this you are likely drifting.  Whitbourne says that phrases like "Why not? Might as well" and "Could be fun"  are all signs that you may be taking a back seat in life.

Be in Control of You

Gaining self awareness doesn't mean forcing that Hollywood-esque quarter life crisis on yourself and making a big move down the road to self discovery.  All overcoming the drift needs are small changes that can positively alter your perspective on every day situations.  These changes allow you to zone in on what you truly desire and how to attain what specifically is needed.  Get off the assembly line life and start living for yourself with the following 5 tricks.

1. Positive Phrasing: Cut out phrases like "I don't care" and "whatever you want to do" our of your vocabulary.  Whether it is Mom and Dad pressuring you about what plans you have for after college or trying to decide where to go to dinner with friends, use affirmative and decisive language to explain what you really want.

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2. Make Your Days More Productive: Adding a little more time to the workout or crossing off those pesky to do list items will allow you to start consciously making decisions that will positively reflect your attitude, and you will start doing things that you actually want to do.

3. Utilize Social Networking: Drifting can also happen as a result of not knowing what you want out of life.  Instead of mindlessly stalking people who you will never meet in person, use social networking sites like Pinterest and Facebook to explore your own personal interests.  These sites can serve as the foundation and allow for a range of creative expression.

4. Try Something New: Skydiving, kickboxing, hiking, run a marathon... (insert whichever activity you have always thought about doing)...and do it! Being decisive about new activities allows you to have future goals and will create positive feelings of achievement.

5. Embrace the People in Your Life: Whether you are drifting or not, forming strong bonds with people who love you will only create a stronger sense of self confidence knowing that these people believe in you. 

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Healthy Outlook=Healthy Life 

-RV